the old and new year..

>> Saturday, January 1, 2011

its that time of the year
when am tempted to recline
staring into
the vacant spaces of
my room
reviewing the fluttering panorama
of my fucking existence
for the past one year

there’s nothing
that doesn’t choke me with
regret, and there’s nothing which
by any credible effort
I could’ve altered

I could not have escaped
one of those barbs –
the men, booze, filth
the breakdowns, boredom
morning terrors
or leaking faucets

I could not have undone
any single act
or the depressing fact

there’s an implacable continuity
in this chaos –
the infatuations, exhilarations
self-pity, tears, pills -
an orgasmic perfection

there had been an intense game
and I –
merely one of it’s pawns

in the new year
I’d lounge
under the blue moon
with my frigid muse
that highly cultivated,
muscular hypochondriac
with wicked instincts

get drunk on
melancholy and rum
then make love to
the goddamned traffic lights
which are stuck at red

say hello to
excruciating aversions,
weary by leisure,
yet inept of action,
I’d remain
inconsistent in every aspiration
except my incessant love for
grotesque fuck-ups ….

11 comments:

Blasphemous Aesthete January 1, 2011 at 11:34 AM  

Well when you are so hell bent on deliverance, I wish you get a date with Lucifer incarnate. Would that suit your purpose or you are bent to topple him too?

Happy new year, though not the best way to say it as I did, but suit yourself with worthy replacements, firsthand.

Varghese Varghese January 1, 2011 at 6:12 PM  

"The most blessed creature in this world" is making 'pissed up' resolutions for a day [and not a moment further]. 'Cause she can't adhere to anything in life permanently. The outstanding Mercurial rep. in this world, and in a day or two there will be another proclamation..Cheers for the new Year and f..king resolutions. We are here to enjoy life up to the hilt. And then vanish. Better be as you are ..as is.. where is! Love..:)

Sahil Banga January 2, 2011 at 9:55 AM  

good verse to start the year with...let fuck-ups be fuck-ups...and graduate to screw-ups :p

V Rakesh January 2, 2011 at 10:16 PM  

I wish this year brings you some of the best yet! I wish, I hope, I know!

Jini January 3, 2011 at 3:10 AM  

:-) what can i say....in your writings you represent me in some points with such accuracy that i wonder whether i am a schizophrenic and unknown to me i also am the author of 'terminal moraine' :-) happy new year to you...and here's to bigger fuck ups that will inspire us to write more great stuff...cheers!

Perry Strange January 4, 2011 at 3:56 PM  

... this has teeth.

I like it. The muse and the traffic lights, in particular. ... and it catches the the sharp edges of the mundane, oh yes.

shooting star January 5, 2011 at 4:57 AM  

wow!!.....what expression and what thoughts...you just blew me away.....this is by far the best post of the new year i have come across!!!!

Luscious Sealed Lips January 6, 2011 at 5:24 AM  

This fucking existence is fucking good. Dont just look at the red light shining but the green, the yellow that dont, the blues, the whites and many more that pass by it.

Hope you have a great year!

Kisses.

goatman January 16, 2011 at 2:34 PM  

C'mon now: must have been some nice times? How about that unexpected meeting with a friend, followed by nice thoughts of past times?
Or the time when everything came together and worked out to a pleasant result. Or even that glass of beer after a hot day -- that first one is always the best one!

Observe synchronicitys.

aria January 16, 2011 at 10:36 PM  

Thanks everyone.
Apologies for late reply. I've almost lost interest in blogs and all.. so I rarely blog-hop and seldom update.. there isn't much to write about..
as for nice times.. I've said this often.. everyone has nice/bad times and what I write isn't always what I go through.. but yes everything awful makes me write.. that's the way I am.

Thank you again for dropping by and leaving your comments.. nice to know a few of you can relate with my poetrics and appreciate.. :)
trust you all are having a wonderful 2011.
Regards,
A

AshenGlow January 24, 2011 at 4:21 AM  

Heres wishing that you have lots of nice things in the coming year...
Talk about running out of things to write about... Im kinda back with a replenished mind and sould after a huge break.. wishing yours too be a fruitful one... ;)

Love,
Ashen

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