>> Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The supreme solace is in suffering and the sole sapience is existence. When you forget to live and long to exist you’ve found your hell, which is more intoxicating than a potion of absinthe. Life keeps inventing something that would eventually lead to death, a long way to freedom. You do not fathom it in its arrogance and its pathos but you keep on trying. In this manner creation lures you again, with enrapturing hopes for the future which shall never come, and lulls you into dreams of more than mortal ecstasy, so while you listen to life’s siren strain, you sigh ..

Nebulous time, moments between
sleeping and waking engulfed me,
for a split second I was born again
as a graceful gazelle, a humongous
leap could alter present time, and
another better season could follow,
then the second past and I was me,
trapped in life, a time which,
goes on and on …

Reality this morning corresponded uncannily to a nighttime dream that I frequently had. The universe seemed contained of these moments in this room and the room was filled with music. I watched as my body began to quake and I saw my head snap back and my eyes roll in their sockets. My body froze and wriggled as if in a death-dance. The muffled half silence took on an underwater blur. Sounds lost their origin. It told me in some odd way that soon the pain would be cut in half. Why could I not make the first leap from my place out there and plunge deeper… ..

when time appears to loose it’s motion
when mind and body seem to drift apart
a rippled serenity, an eternal melody
free of our masquerade, our own lies,
reveling sublime joys which fears nothing
wishes naught, resents none, and
sinks deeper, into a delicious stupor…

There was an elusive figure dancing just in and out of sight. Certainly it was there, enjoying every minute of distress. I savored it too, not only to discover the strength and weakness of my own being but because it tied me to the only feeling that remained in the small world. Escape was the only thought, I didn’t want to be touched by any other notion. And then .. sunlight penetrated through the window .. clear warm sky crossed with broad swaths of illumination and a gibbous moon fading at the horizon, which gave enough luster for me to gradually gain a sense of the space I was in, although I lay just beyond tapestry safely silhouetted in the darkness, and life seemed miles away from there…


goatman September 1, 2009 at 2:47 PM  

I am fond of elusive figures dancing just out of real. They may be necessary to sanity by being there, dancing. I would join the dance and happily lose reality, if I could.

Nash September 1, 2009 at 9:37 PM  

You are amazing Aria, hats off.

ani_aset September 4, 2009 at 1:27 PM  

you know solitary moments like this brings out the best writing ..i like your writing style..and i confess i read it thrice, and each time i discovered a new meaning

aria September 4, 2009 at 11:28 PM  

Thankyou all three of you for dropping by and leaving your imprints. :)

Perry Strange September 5, 2009 at 3:56 PM  

ah. I do like this... very polished. Which is hard, I think, with mixed media.

Have to read it again. But I think I "got" the sunlight.

Quackster September 8, 2009 at 11:09 AM  

The prose and poetry mixture is certainly effective and induces a dance of fanciful mixed in with a dark yet realistic endeavor into the dreams. Its hard to describe but its very very good. I like it. Nice to stop by again =) Sorry for being busy, but now I'm back.

shooting star September 11, 2009 at 9:14 AM  

took considerable time to read...and had flashbacks to some of my personal moments...could feel the similarity in thoughts...nice writing

goatman September 12, 2009 at 7:36 PM  

Excellent. The re-reading of this is even better and sends chills up my spine.
I was happy for the morning sun to light the room and bring back some ties to the day to come.

Rakesh Vanamali September 16, 2009 at 2:03 AM  

Aria, wishing you a very happy birthday (belated though)!

May the coming year bring you the very best - good health, great friends, unending peace, true happiness and excellent health!

Have a rocking time!

Kunjubi September 19, 2009 at 7:45 AM  

Aria.... Indeed a resurrection and congratulation...It warrants celebration. Missed you for long. Welcome back to the pavilion to watch the spree. cheers. kunjubi

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