(Un)rhythmical Life...

>> Wednesday, July 29, 2009



Life, that meager cache; I can get back to it,
unsympathetic, it appeals to some perverse streak
to seek out the very site that aroused bitterness,
an irony you can not fathom, no matter if I explained.
This intoxication is brief - a seduction, an illusion,
never lasting; then to be engulfed by oceanic rhythm of
denial and rebellion, volume upon esoteric volume,
the limitless kingdom of beats - not one of which
I wish to penetrate. I am a reckless poet,
I can be a woman of caprice, attachment to
a chimerical life is an explanation I was,
for all my mistrust of it, willing to accept.
I supposed it took me in fleetingly, like
optical illusions, where an image metamorphoses
into a different image, you cannot hold both images
in your mind simultaneously. So why run at all?
why run ever again? when you have no destination,
there is but a finish line. When you come to the end,
you’d find only yourself. The same unchanged.
The more you move on, the more you arrive at self.
I am not running any more, I am not hiding from life,
I believe I am waiting for it . …



What seemed an impregnable cache, immune to theft
was stolen, it was my rhythm, not your poetry,
my exegesis of symphonic life in that parallel music;
shall we speak of universals and eternals?
I lost my way during several attempts to find it.
The world is composed of sins, ruled by instincts
deeper than lethargy, virtue is vapor, more perplexing,
you are all around me in its bodily reminders,
the heaps of notes, cramped odors of obsession,
in the intimate intrusion of the massive bed,
where I’d lain with harmony in a hot drive
to dissent, to subvert, to fly like the bohemian
from what had passed for usual wisdom,
denying tedium, denying the given, the received,
the begotten, the whole solicitous silliness.
Behold! how these strings, wan and magical
flood the sinews of our melody, it was then
I’d caught, vibrating under your cajoling words,
an unsaid, electric burr that seemed to echo;
I had served my purpose: good-bye.


Tomorrow morning I am leaving with my parents for a small vacation on the hills. I’ll be back in 5-6 days. See you then.


Rakesh Vanamali July 29, 2009 at 11:16 PM  

Fantastic take on life...... very illustrative!

Have a wonderful vacation!

d gypsy! July 30, 2009 at 9:36 AM  

hey, hope u have a gud time holidaying

'This intoxication is brief - a seduction, an illusion'-isnt every moment is? isnt each life has its own illusions?
things we carry not ready to part with them or let them past by...

impersonator August 3, 2009 at 11:23 PM  

hi girl how are you? the rhythm of this post is intoxicating...you must be enjoying the hills and giving form to new beats. i visited often but left without commenting...i am at loss of words...you echo my thoughts..then you were missing..i trust all is fine now..or you made peace with the situation.. so long a break.. 'appy you are blogging again...don't stop writing...take good care babe.

goatman August 4, 2009 at 11:50 AM  

I am trying to imagine the "impregnable cache". How to achieve that. Your words, as usual are intoxicating and expressive.
Hoping your trip to the past is peaceful for you.

aria August 4, 2009 at 8:34 PM  

Rakesh.. Thank you :)

Neha.. certainly @ isnt each life has its own illusions?
I guess we need certain illusions... that's why we keep carrying 'em. Thanks much for your thoughts :)

Impersonator.. Hello! I am alright. Nice to see you. Thanks for dropping by and leaving imprints.

Goatman.. Thank you for your kind comment. :)

Anonymous August 4, 2009 at 10:48 PM  

hey aria, nice to see u back! and yeah, m back on blogger itslef! :)

dint notice ur updates since changing template, i'd lost my blogroll and could retrieve only the blogs i had followed...!

this euphony is brilliant... very deep at times and simple too... life is definitely an illusuon to many... wait for life? wait here with us! hope to see u write more and more, the old fashioned poet in u still is awake i can see! :)

aria August 5, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

Thank you Leo.
I had created a wordpress account once.. coz many bloggers insisted its better but I didn't like it! I guess we blogspot users are far more comfortable with what we had been used to :)

shooting star August 7, 2009 at 9:35 AM  

hi there...back to ur blog agter a long time!!!
euphony...waiting for life...??...dont!!

Perry Strange August 7, 2009 at 3:30 PM  

I especially like the bit in the middle beginning with "the intrusion of the bed..."--it snagged my brain... and the way things intensify until the period.

... still chewing over the meaning. Complex.

ani_aset August 21, 2009 at 12:02 AM  

Its so sad the way you have put it..and its something one can't avoid and has to go through..painful..lovely writing aria

Huzaifa October 8, 2009 at 2:29 AM  

good post dear.

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