Absolved

>> Saturday, April 19, 2008

The events I catalogued here are perhaps of
other people, I just hung around the fringes,
watching.


You could see the numbered pages leafing
inside my head, life is narrowing down.
I could predict.


It's a continual shoring up against one thing
or another, splintered parts, eroding and
crumbling away.


I’d come a long way from somewhere, untying
myriad caged wings, with me anything is possible,
even vitue.


--


There’s nothing else that I want tonight, except
a cold ivory touch in an ill-lit
corner, where


no game or ambush awaits me, as I sear
forgetting the sensations, flames against
pliant skin


tapping wet windy messages in numb eyes,
at once, brilliant and shadowy, drenched in
amplified smell.


off I'd go into the wild blue yonder, climbing
high into sky, down I’d dive, spouting a flame
from under.


then walk in the dark on dust and ashes, harking
for a name, my own, even here no identity shall
claim me.

15 comments:

Inconsequential April 19, 2008 at 8:48 AM  

very nice :)


typo?
I'd came? come...


Dust and ashes, dust and ashes :)

Inconsequential April 19, 2008 at 8:49 AM  

or I instead of I'd...

Sorry, not my place to crit :)

I'll shut up :)

aria April 19, 2008 at 11:15 AM  

Thank you Inconsequential, it indeed was a typo(corrected it).. haven't made the same silly mistake in the other para :| I couldn't re-read after posting (the way I usually do) coz of the IPL match :D and of course it is your place to crit.

asuph April 19, 2008 at 10:55 PM  

nice structural variation. and as usual, fluid, confident narration.

-asuph

Alok April 20, 2008 at 1:31 AM  

evocative .... i liked it a lot... ranks very high amongst what i hv read of you ...

Kunjubi April 20, 2008 at 8:56 AM  

then walk in the dark on dust and ashes, harking
for a name, my own, even here no identity shall
claim me........I am dumbfounded!
Inexplicable feelings upsrges inside...a torrent of mixed emotions., pervading melancholy ..
VIVA.. cheers kunjubi..
P.S.(vitue=? )

The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts April 20, 2008 at 12:03 PM  

I like the ambiguity in this piece.. Can associate nearly every word in the context of my life.Somehow I too am always on the outside looking for a way in absolute detachment, as if nothing really matters (when in fact everything does).. .. . what has been and what is yet to come are somehow all too similar..

Love it Aria.. the words and the metaphors are used with a true wordsmith's elan..
Keep writing..
cheers
z

Nash April 20, 2008 at 2:34 PM  

Wonderfully gloomy. It is one of your very best, which is saying a lot cos all of 'em are evocative. The last few lines are very intriguing, are they about death?

aria April 20, 2008 at 10:53 PM  

Asuph.. Thank you, I am glad :)

Alok.. Thanks much, for your words.

Kunjubi.. virtue=virtue.. what else? I couldn't understand your question mark for it but thanks for appreciating and your comment.

Zofo.. thanks for that lovely comment.. I like that new picture on your profile :)

Nash.. umm kind of.. but as Zofo said .. its ambiguous.. thank you for reading so carefully and your words.. :)

Casperbaba April 21, 2008 at 11:51 PM  

The darker side of you that embraces a image something like mine. lets divide those 'myriad caged wings' and steal the flight to the moon of thousand gloomy hollow craters relecting the light of the angered sun of happiness. Almost like lost lovers, the love for numbness yet a tinge of happiness makes the life a perfect margereta of sorts. I love drinking and this to my years sounds yum!

from dark to light is a process. let it process itself.

parikrama April 22, 2008 at 4:25 AM  

Asuph has already so nicely (or rather concisely) said what I wanted to say.. so I would just register my haazri in mohtarmaa's darbaar and exit quietly.

Ashen Glow April 22, 2008 at 10:26 PM  

So well crafted... Simple and yet so capturing... Esp the first part...

"It's a continual shoring up against one thing
or another, splintered parts, eroding and
crumbling away."...

Terminal Moraine indeed... :)

aria April 23, 2008 at 3:17 AM  

Casper.. "from dark to light is a process. let it process itself." indeed. Thank you. :)

IW.. hehe Haziri has been noted. shukriya.

Ashen.. that was a neat observation @ terminal moraine. It didnt strike me at all. great. Thank you.

New Buddha April 24, 2008 at 2:32 AM  

Life is narrowing down for you? No way, its just started expanding, there much to travel..:))Yep, anything is possible. And the next para...Hmmm! You wont change either..:)) Nicely worded and written Aria. Expressive.

aria April 25, 2008 at 7:00 AM  

New Buddha.. as usual, great to see you. Btw I don't think 'you' need to change.. its always a pleasure to find you the same. Thanks :)

Latest comments

  ©

Back to TOP