>> Wednesday, March 5, 2008

You may not find me ..
In ruptured images once beheld,
tortuous outlines of setting sun,
subtle interplays of elegiac poetry
or in tangled discursive reminisces
when you and I melted indiscriminately.

I am afraid one day
you would step back in murky
faint hues of obliterated past,
as our conversation continues
in certain grim spareness of
your immure papered rooms
though neither of us spoke again.

Oblivious of precedence
my words might turn up where
you’d laid them aside in midsentences-
on the edge of the bathroom sink,
hanging between empty cocktail glasses
and disks of sodden lemon
or crumpled among bedsheets.


Nash March 5, 2008 at 2:33 PM  

Short and effective.
Last line provides a good punch.

asuph March 5, 2008 at 6:33 PM  

Loved it, till the ending...

I'm ambivalent about the ending... Why are you telling us, rather than showing, or better, just hinting, leaving us confused? you're the master of that. when you start telling, it's not the same...


Casperbaba March 5, 2008 at 9:50 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Casperbaba March 5, 2008 at 10:52 PM  

"Oblivious of precedence
my words might turn up where
you’d laid them aside in midsentences-
on the edge of the bathroom sink,
hanging between empty cocktail glasses
and disks of sodden lemon
or crumpled among bedsheets."

WOW!!!! wow!!! ur way above my league to even comment on this....
it has a Gulzaar saab effect within these words....

"Hqueeqat se anjaney mere lafz kuch yoon nikal ayeingey,
jahaan sulaaya tha tumney unko adhoorey sa,
ussi bathroom ke sink ke kisi koney par,
unhee madhosh adhpeeye neemboo se khateey kiye jaamoo mein,
ya usi silvatee chaadar ke taley."

i apologise for interpreting ur work but just couldn't stop myself...


nidhi March 5, 2008 at 11:11 PM  

Loved it each word and each line.. I most especially loved the second para where there is talk about the person reminiscence the forgotten past (a desire sublime)and how memories will come from where they were left long time is amazing imagery..I can actually imagine it..

The last line is an effort to break free from it all.. but sometimes it is not so easy..easier saying than doing!

much cares & lots of cheers to you, Aria

smile on

aria March 6, 2008 at 1:23 AM  

Nash.. Thanks for regularly reading me :) As for the last line.. I'm having second thoughts now ..

Asuph.. Its impulsive. I thought it was a nonsense kinda scribble so rounded it off with a barb. Perhaps it deserves trifle respect. I'll remove that line.. Thank you, as always, for making me 'think' *sigh*

Casper.. I'm amazed by your interpretation. Its far better than mine .. in fact its superlative, I'm honored. Many thanks, I treasure it.

Nidhi.. thanks for your lovely words. They pretty much sum up, my poem in a nutshell.. :)

Anonymous March 6, 2008 at 3:37 AM  

lovely have crafted your thoughts so beautifully, we all face this similar kind of thoughts, but hardly we get the answers. We just have to live life by the moments...have a wonderful time!

Alok March 6, 2008 at 8:31 PM  

yes it deserves far more respect .. why only a trifle … enjoyed it immensely ….


parikrama March 7, 2008 at 6:56 AM  

I think this piece would go quite well with the b/w photograph that you have on Rustic-Rhapsody blog. The tiny square one on the right, with the silhoutted girl sitting on a couch.. with a book lying on the floor..

I just came back after re-reading your suxy-six post.. I remember reading it long time back.. Your Big-B adulation is really something! LOL @ drinking Mirinda Lemon everyday in canteen. Vaise i too "use" to be a huge fan of Amitabh when I was a kid. When he recovered from the Coolie accident and was discharged from the hospital.. I had forced my mom to distribute "pedhaa's" in our neighbourhood ! But over the years the intensity of my love for him has decreased.. I still like & respect him for his dignified persona.. but I am no longer obsessed enuff to watch each of his new films. But yeah, there isn't a 50 plus guy who looks as HOT as Big-B :))

aria March 7, 2008 at 9:03 AM  

Thanks Alok and flyingstars :)

IW .. Is it raining? You said you gonna read my posts when it rains .. its clouded here .. I hope it rains tonight..
thanks for finding some time - to read those oldies. :) I think I'm not THAT passionate either .. (generally for anyone). We all got 'older' and 'saner'. Waise, I had never been a movie buff but I watch all his old flicks on tv .. have seen them all at least million times and can continue to do so. He reminds me of childhood so he'll always be that special one. Btw.. even 20 plus and 30 plus aren't as hot as him and I am not even talking about 40 plus bollywood zeros .. :D

Ashen Glow March 9, 2008 at 7:07 AM  

aria... its magic again... am just back from Juhu Beach... and then, when the smell of wet sand has yet not left my senses, i read your poetry.. what a blend.. intoxicating.. absolutely! surely one of the best ones that iv read here hitherto... *hugs*

MotoRama March 9, 2008 at 12:10 PM  

"I am afraid one day
you would step back in murky
faint hues of obliterated past"---that is profound..

Arthur Quiller Couch March 10, 2008 at 1:23 AM  

Such big words you use, Gramma.

Inconsequential March 11, 2008 at 12:39 AM  

You know, often I come and read, and wait wait wait for the next piece...

This one will see me through several visits :)
Good for a re-read or two or three.

obliterated past...nice

aria March 12, 2008 at 10:03 AM  

Ashen .. you made my day with that lovely comment. Hope you are having a great time in Mumbai. Thanks. :)

Rama .. Welcome to my blog .. thanks for your comment :)

Arthur.. Thanks for dropping by. I like it big.. as in words... :D

Inconsequential .. Thanks much, for your patience and appreciation. :)

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