Nascent Breaker ..

>> Thursday, January 3, 2008

That ruthless voice
which had never bothered
to cloak itself in humanitarian rhetoric
asked me again ..
"where are your scribbles
that had no rhyme nor rhythm
and seldom any ‘content’ ?"


"You were mistress of
extraordinary loquaciousness
so perspicacious
so fluent
so rich with contempt for
every last human problem
you’d ever faced.."


"A clamorous countess of
endless ostentatiously
overelaborate sentences
write something, will you?
squelching jokes,
tedious anecdotes
anything would do .."


The impulse was overwhelming
to grab the laptop, slam it through
instead drawing back, reining in,
strategically speaking
softly I replied ..


"Days are shorter, evenings longer,
gossamer webs float through air,
cool breezes waft around -
days could be radiant
the nighttime coolness
has reached out
and touched everything."


"I do have thoughts
I do not think them
I had once channeled them
now my words spill everywhere
and lay lightly
on everything like mist."


The ‘voice’ turned low
it had quality of muffled shriek …
"You are not fighting
a world anymore
where they are out to destroy you
you are battling in the world
where you are alone with me."


"You are something
which suffered
a premature burial;
something accounted for
not 'present' though
I am certain you are aware of
the morbid irony in this."


Being angry at the voice
had previously felt better
ignoring had liberated -
it is no longer possible
to isolate that voice and me
or separate ‘me’ from person
in charge I’d always been ..


"Woman in charge
and woman deferred to
have only added to the pain
and surprise of being
the alien that I am …"

36 comments:

asuph January 4, 2008 at 4:00 AM  

With this comment moderation, one never knows one is first or not, but then this is not about being first.

"I do have thoughts
I do not think them
I had once channeled them
now my words spill everywhere
and lay lightly
on everything like mist."

Liked this poem on many levels, although it's much simpler in a way, than most you write. Yet it's like you've written a poem around this stanza, proving it...

looks like the new year is going to be a good one for us terminal-moraine fans.

wish you a happy new year.

cheers,
asuph

Equivocationalist January 4, 2008 at 8:47 AM  

well, i had copied that stanza too, ready to paste it; laud it; praise it. i think asuph's encomium to it more succinct than mine, so as i cannot do it justice, i shall merely repeat it. for if imitation is the highest form of flattery, i suppose you both should be so (aria, of course, more so than asuph ;) )

"I do have thoughts
I do not think them
I had once channeled them
now my words spill everywhere
and lay lightly
on everything like mist."


ah, such sweet poetry.

Alok January 4, 2008 at 8:53 AM  

we all fall in that circle of "me" and the world that cover that me ... but then ofcourse there u have the conflict of which me should rule .... I am very unsure abt mine though I hope it is not the me tht I mentioned above

the lines that asuph pointed out are indeed awesome ... esp the first two line ...

Also the second last para is extremely good ... I have read it a couple of times already ... every letter is something I can relate to ...

Alok

aria January 4, 2008 at 9:23 AM  

Asuph .. Thank you. Honored by 'you' calling yourself a fan of my modest blog. I don't like moderating comments either.. esp coz I don't want to irritate 3-4 people who bother to read me :D
I just wanted to writing 'something' .. it started as prose .. then bacame poem :( and finally turned out to be something in between or perhaps neither .. hehe
Thank you for the wishes... you too have a good one .. :)

Equivocationalist .. Welcome back! Had been missing you .. dropped by your 'place' even yesterday .. but it did not even stir :) Thank you!

Alok .. Thanks a lot. After reading your last comment .. I tried to push myself. I wasn't able to write anything .. it had been quite irritating, of late. Glad you found it worth a re-read.

cheti January 4, 2008 at 9:54 AM  

aria !

What do i say ! All I can do is sigh !

Beautiful !! Lay lightly your words definitley does !but doesnt evaporate like mist !

vi January 4, 2008 at 5:18 PM  

Ah thoda "hatke" likha hai! :) Nice!

parikrama January 5, 2008 at 8:45 AM  

I read this quite late in the day.. err rather night. Its 12:31am, Sunday, to be exact.

My heart wants to write something nice but my mind and body have frozen. It's been a long day which started with Vaccuming, Scrubbing, Mopping (restless) Resting, Grocery Shopping, Cooking dinner for 4 (roommate + 2 guests) , followed by late night call to mum and sis. Now I am totally spent and I should have been in bed resting my aching bones.. But instead, I am here spending the last few minutes of this day/night at your blogspace.

Well all i want to say is, am taking your words with me as i slip into the world of dreams. So see you there :-)

aria January 5, 2008 at 8:45 PM  

Cheti .. You completed that stanza @ evaporate. Lovely. Thank you.

Vi… Hatke isliye hai coz originally it was meant to be ‘prose’ .. ab lagta hai I need some practice to write proper prose :( thanks for reading.

IW .. Thank you for spending some time on my blog despite having such a tiring day.
You are such an awesome ‘husband material’. * hint hint* btw I think you forgot to mention ‘laundry’ :D I read your comment last night .. (couldn't type a reply then) and so I slept with your words too. I won’t tell you about my dreams .. but I’m hoping you would .. (kabhi na kabhi)
you have a nice Sunday .. :)

Kalyan January 6, 2008 at 4:01 AM  

Nice to see you back in the New Year after a long break with such a wonderful poem...the words have so much intensity & thought...Very nice & have a wonderful new year ahead!

parikrama January 6, 2008 at 4:10 AM  

Oh yeah laundry.. I had totally forgotten to take the clothes out of the machine and put them for drying last night. Thanks to you, they are now happily flying atop bamboo poles.. (albeit, a day late) . Glad you didn't miss my not-so-subtle hints about my utility in & around a household :)

aria January 6, 2008 at 4:50 AM  

Kalyan .. Thanks .. wishing you the same :)

IW .. problem yeh hai .. ki you only give hints and I'm almost tired of giving hints. Naye saal mein kuch naya nahi kar sakte hum .. ? :( how about taking a step further ..

parikrama January 6, 2008 at 5:53 PM  

>> how about taking a step further ..

This is something akin to asking Indian batsmen to bat on 5th day of a test match, without panicking. That's how I react/act when asked to take things further than mere dropping hints. It's a decade old weakness which I share with the famed Indian batting line up.. *sigh*

shooting star January 6, 2008 at 11:14 PM  

i had to go through your piece twice ..not because i did not understand it..but beacuse of some of the difficult words in it...well...it's very revealing post......and a confusing one for those who look just at the surface...ur writing reminds of my very dear friend....will come back to read more...

parikrama January 7, 2008 at 7:53 AM  

p.s. : Before you start throwing belan n bartan et all at me after reading my previous comment, in my defense let me say I searched high and dry for your e-mail address but couldn't find it anywhere mentioned in your profile or blogpage.. :)

The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts January 7, 2008 at 10:18 AM  

As always beautiful language and delicate command of it shimmers here... wonderful flow to this one..

the gut instinct.. somehow though we seldom pay any heed to it.. from past experience I know its always right....

Dredger January 7, 2008 at 12:27 PM  

i like! stylish stuff!

aria January 7, 2008 at 1:48 PM  

IW .. :( @ the first comment! and :((((( @ second comment! I searched for yours too .. but there is nothing. Bad luck.. Looks like .. we share the fate of your favorite cricket team too.
PS - aapne dil se kabhi poocha hi nahi .. you know what :)

Shooting star .. welcome to my blog and thank you for your comment. Do drop by again :)

Zofo .. Nice to see your first comment in 2008. Thanks :)

Dredger .. Thank you! Welcome aboard.

asuph January 8, 2008 at 1:37 AM  

aria/iw, my favorite platonic pair:

should i help you guys in exchanging email ids?

just say yes, and u'll get each others email ids over secure mail.

regards,
asuph

parikrama January 8, 2008 at 6:52 AM  

At the cost of getting an earful from another online aquaintance and (best kept secret) admirer, I would go ahead and say "Yes" to asuph's one-for-one e-mail exchange offer. Either ways I am doomed..

This is getting exciting by each new comment.

aria January 8, 2008 at 8:45 AM  

Asuph .. :D thanks for rescuing us. Now that IW has said yes .. I'm prepared to wait like a true 'lady' :)

IW .. you've got A secret admirer? *frowns* This is the most twisted twist in the tale ...

asuph January 8, 2008 at 9:00 AM  

Are you guys sure?

asuph January 8, 2008 at 9:14 AM  

Before you guys change the mind, I've completed my job. Now, for god's sake, stop those the excuses.

Secret online admirers, hints, more hints, more and more hints...

it's gone from:

unse aaya na gaya, humse bulaya na gay

to:

unse bulaya gaya, humse jaya na gaya, sher pe sher dono se sunaya gaya.

Dredger January 8, 2008 at 10:57 AM  

Thanks for ur comment T-M, it was kinda deep in a very light way.. and that kinda lightness comes from a place very deep. - I proudly quote a certain Alicia Silverstone as a testament to your comment! Glad to be aboard, hopefully never to jump off the broken rail.

Jay January 8, 2008 at 6:00 PM  

This one felt many-layered....like maybe you were thinking of something else when you wrote it. It makes me want to find the drawstring, fling back the curtain, and see what hides behind.

Dredger January 12, 2008 at 3:36 AM  

If ur handing out email addresses, where do i sign up? :D

Ashen Glow January 15, 2008 at 8:26 PM  

"Woman in charge
and woman deferred to
have only added to the pain
and surprise of being
the alien that I am …"

Iv fallen in love with the lines... :)

Not that its related, but it reminds me of a book that i had read a couple of years ago.."Ladies Coupe" by Anita Nair.. specifically in a part where she compares the traits of a woman to that of water... absolutely awesome.

Dredger January 19, 2008 at 1:21 PM  

Mighty flattered by your response to my rant Aria! (dunno if u saw the reply i left there but figured theres no harm in making doubly sure) Comin from a writer of ur exalted status, it says a lot! So, thank u!

Dredger January 19, 2008 at 1:31 PM  

my reply to ur reply has been posted. and this, is gettin a tad funny skippin between blogs wonderin where the reply ends up!

Inconsequential January 25, 2008 at 1:43 PM  

Cool :)

Dredger January 29, 2008 at 6:56 AM  

its not locked out. dunno what gave u that idea! but i checked and double checked. maybe ur the one whos blocked it out!! :P

Inconsequential January 30, 2008 at 11:47 PM  

:)

Time for another piece yet?

...I've read this one...
several times :)

hotICE February 3, 2008 at 12:53 AM  

I am amazed at the depths of intense feeling that you go down to in these lines that you have effortlessly woven. Though, I must admit, I do understand the dynamics behind this effort?

Like the leaves are freshened by the morning mist, your words are ever freshening.. keep writing more!

nidhi February 4, 2008 at 7:40 PM  

Hello Aria
I really don't know how I landed here first but I have been reading you regularly since last months and today went through your earlier blogs too.

Sometimes I have been influenced by your certain words (I may have unconsciously written my own words inspired); amazed how you weave them in a true mosaic and have been swept off by the emotions woven.. All these months my respect for you has only grown..In fact I always wanted to write a comment or should I say express my respect for you and the words that come from within you but I am not on blogger so didn't know how..

My own blog is @:
http://icysvolcanicworld.spaces.live.com/

Keep writing because you have admirers like me here :)You are just one of the rare persons who have stirred my soul with their words & I respect the person and the writer that you are!

Take care & be happy :)
Nidhi

aria February 9, 2008 at 2:09 AM  

Thank you Jay, Ashen, Inconsequential, Hotice & others for your comments! :)

Nidhi.. welcome to my blog.. I am deeply touched by your words, means much.. gratitudes..
I did visit your space and trust me, the feeling is mutual.. you've another admirer and a regular visitor in the icysvolcanicworld .. hope to see you around, despite my irregularities.. :)

Perry Strange June 27, 2008 at 2:26 PM  

... and this one I just love.

I like the way it moves, I like the theme... and the way it resolves itself.

aria June 30, 2008 at 12:51 AM  

Perry.. welcome to my blog and thank you for your kind words :)

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