Waterspout

>> Saturday, July 14, 2007

i)

If..
I had stopped you then..


The driving torrent, last night
that plummeted the awning,
like hailstorms -
could pause over me, like mist
and I would trust their shelter


I could float in thunderclap
with the leisure of a dream
hearing it, in all variations
as if they were leitmotif
from a symphony,
cosmic yet intimate


In the persistent murmur
of water, however
I only heard
your fine concluding high note
that had been sent afloat
to fade.


And then,
An enormous bolt,
lit up the sky
It became for an instant
sunset or sunrise?



ii)

If..
I let you go now...


I can see all hurt years
washed clean
the life I’d thought
forever closed, spreading out
its pictorial vista, with sheen.


I can look up
at countless raindrops
sense a touch of piety
as they fall over me
in their midnight gaiety


I can explore
an infinite space
amid myriad of galaxies
between two eternities -
one caught and held
yet already past
and the other,
still to come?


Or perhaps,
nothing is past
what was, will be
is waxing unbearably
and it is all -
one vast scroll.

37 comments:

Nash July 15, 2007 at 12:41 AM  

A wistful melancholy with a rosy tinge? Lovely again!!

asuph July 15, 2007 at 12:51 AM  

aria,

there is just one word i've this time: tangent.

and since i've never stopped at one word, i'll add: delightful, and very visual...

i guess this was bound to happen. you'll grow beyond your critics, and their limited understanding.

go girl,
asuph

The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts July 15, 2007 at 1:37 AM  

The rains bring with them a sweet melancholy and this piece feels perfectly in place then...

I love to watch the rain come down.


A simmering fire burns our heart away;
We sink and my heart in death of agony lies;
As with dawn the taper of the lamp
Laps up the last drop of oil and dies

aria July 15, 2007 at 3:10 AM  

Nash .. :) kinda, sorta .. maybe .. thanks for reading me though you refuse my entry in your blog.

Asuph .. thanks a lot. *bows* This felt really good. :D I hope I can get admission in that 'exclusive club,' occasionally.

Zofo .. Thanks :) Thats a wonderful poem ..

The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts July 15, 2007 at 8:04 AM  

Yeah MSN Spaces is very erratic at times and freezes up, thats the reason I shifted to blogspot.. but still post there

Here's a link to the photo on my Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/33425307@N00/715652143/

aria July 15, 2007 at 1:27 PM  

Zofo .. I thought.. its my connection coz it has been acting weird and I had no idea about 'my space.' Saw it first, only when I explored your link. :D Will check out your flickr.

Jay July 15, 2007 at 9:00 PM  

Just beautiful, really.

parikrama July 16, 2007 at 12:50 AM  

Kabhi Kabhi Mein Sochta Hu
Ki Chalti Gaadi Se PedH Dekho
Toh Aisa Lagtaa Hein
Doosri SamT Jaa Rahey Hein
Magar Hakikat Mein
PedH Apni Jageh Khadey Hein
[ SamT = Dishaa / Direction ]

Toh Kyaa Yeh Mumkin Hein
Saari SadiyaaN
Katar Antar Kataar Apni Jageh Khadi Ho
Yeh Waqt Saakit Ho
Aur Hum Guzar Rahey Ho

Eis Ek Lamhe Mein
Sarey Lamhey
Tamaam SadiyaaN Chupi Hui Ho
Na Koi Aaindaa
Na Gujishtaa
Jo Ho Chukaa Hein
Woh Ho Rahaa Hein
Jo Hone Waala Hein
Ho Raha Hein
[ Aaindaa = Bhavishya Kaal/ Future
Gujishtaa = Bhootkaal / Past ]

Mein Sochtaa Hu
Ki Kyaa Ye Mumkin Hein
Sach Ye Ho
Ki Safar Mein Hum Hein
Gujarte Hum Hein
Jisey Samajh Te Hein Hum
Gujartaa Hein
Woh Thamaa Hein

Guzartaa Hein Yaa Thamaa Huaa Hein
Eikaai Hein Yaa Bataa Huaa Hein
Hein Munjameed
Yaa Peeghal Rahaa Hein
Kisey Khabar Hein
Kisey Pataa Hein
Yeh Waqt Kyaa Hein
[ Munjameed = Jamaa Huaa / Solid ]

The rest of the poem can be found here Waqt - By Javed Akhthar

parikrama July 16, 2007 at 1:01 AM  

I am bit wary of commenting on poems coz sometimes I am not sure if I 'get' the true essence behind the words. But then I can't stop myself from commenting on your posts, so here I am once again ready to make fool of myself :)

Your concluding lines :

Or perhaps,
nothing is past
what was, will be
is waxing unbearably
and it is all -
one vast scroll.

took me back to "Waqt". Hope I am not totally off the track in linking your lines to those from Waqt. Like I said earlier, I don't get verse at most times.

I liked the "Then" part more than "Now".. The former is easier to grasp with 'heart', The later requires more of 'grey' matter to comprehend fully.

Okay I am done.

AakASH!!! July 16, 2007 at 2:00 AM  

There is this song, 'Teo Toriatte' by Queen.
And this one's for you:

>>>
Teo Torriatte (Let Us Cling Together)

When I'm gone
No need to wonder if I ever think of you
The same moon shines
The same wind blows
For both of us, and time is but a paper moon...
Be not gone

Though I'm gone
It's just as though I hold the flower that touches you
A new life grows
The blossom knows
There's no one else could warm my heart as much as you...
Be not gone

Let us cling together as the years go by
Oh my love, my love
In the quiet of the night
Let our candle always burn
Let us never lose the lessons we have learned


Teo torriatte konomama iko
Aisuruhito yo
Shizukana yoi ni
Hikario tomoshi
Itoshiki oshieo idaki


Hear my song
Still think of me the way you've come to think of me
The nights grow long
But dreams live on
Just close your pretty eyes and you can be with me...
Dream on


Teo torriatte konomama iko
Aisuruhito yo
Shizukana yoi ni
Hikario tomoshi
Itoshiki oshieo idaki


When I'm gone
They'll say we're all fools and we don't understand
Oh be strong
Don't turn your heart
We're all
You're all
For all
For always

Let us cling together as the years go by
Oh my love, my love
In the quiet of the night
Let our candle always burn
Let us never lose the lessons we have learned.

<<<

Waterspout reminds me of many things said and unsaid, and the unsaid being said. The coda of then also reminds me of the quattrain Pahloo that i had written.

Vivid, like your every work.

aria July 16, 2007 at 3:22 AM  

Jay .. welcome to my blog :) nice to see you here. Thank you.

IW .. pray, tell me, why do you want to 'stop' commenting? :( And no, you did not make fool of yourself. I'm mighty impressed by your 'linking'. If I'd read that poem somewhere (hadn't read it before) I couldn't have thought, it was in any way close to my nonsense :D But it seems to be close.. though it's different too .. you know sigh .. the true essence is something even I'm not aware of. I scribble whatever comes to my mind at a certain point.. I'm mostly done with it in 3-4 hours flat ..don't like editing & re-editing as they are mostly 'mood poems' and half the time when I write I'm not in "senses" (I won't state the obvious). Btw ..I find Javed Akhtar sorta overrated but really liked this one. Thanks for posting it & the link. :>)

Aakash.. Thank you. :) Lovely lyrics .. haven't heard that song but liked the words .. I'll go back and read your 'perspective' poem again..

AakASH!!! July 16, 2007 at 6:45 AM  

'I thought of writing a sonnet for my love, but couldnt
so I'll show her these bleeding fingers instead.', wrote Ghalib.

Intezaar rahega.

aria July 16, 2007 at 9:54 AM  

Aakash *sigh* I can't even say 'waah' for that. Its way too good. Intezaar toh mujhey hai .. aapke sawaal ka.

PS - Amazing verses have been posted, on this post. Thanks again, everyone. :)

Inconsequential July 16, 2007 at 10:11 AM  

Loved part 2

:)

Gifted writer.

The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts July 16, 2007 at 10:38 AM  

YEAH its been a problem with MSN Spaces, it freezes comps which aren't running Vista these days.
Intially it was pretty good I liked it better than blogger..

A Pain in the podex it is.
cheers
z

Equivocationalist July 16, 2007 at 12:16 PM  

I would humbly add my own voice to the multifarious encomia. You never fail to shift my brain into gear. An amuse-bouche for the literary appetite.
*bows and hits his head on an inconveniently-placed item of furniture, then sidles nociceptively away*

cheti July 16, 2007 at 2:34 PM  

Aria !

Monsoon has started has it !!?

Lovely !

MAde me refer to dictionary and all ! Good !

vi July 16, 2007 at 4:01 PM  

Ah bit late...hmm cheti and parikarma's (second) comment combined :)) is what I want to say as well :D

Good going girl!

vi

AakASH!!! July 16, 2007 at 10:19 PM  

Ek mauke ki nahin, yeh talaash hai ek makaam ki
Ki kisi darakht ke sahaare peeth tika kar,
pooch sakun tumse, aaraam se, itminaan se.
Ki lafzon mein tumhare jo sansani hai bhari;
woh laati ho kahaan se, kisi jaadu ki dukaan se?
Magar mauka nahin milta, woh jagah nahin milti.
Jiski talaash hai woh rahguzar nahin milti.
Mil jaaye 'gar kahin tumhein woh khoya savera,
Dheeme se bol dena use tum thikaana mera.

Full2 Faltu July 17, 2007 at 2:00 AM  

Aria


s usual I didn't understand.

Maybe I don't/never make a stronger attempt to understand. :)

Thats the reason I can never become a writer! :)

BTW, You have been tagged
http://full2faltu.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/aat-tag/

Enjoy!

-Punds

aria July 18, 2007 at 2:18 AM  

Inconsequential.. Part 2 is my favorite too. :)

Zofo .. hehe I get the picture now.

Equivocationalist... There you go again. I can’t match that comment .. no way ..

Cheti .. Monsoon has started, yes :D. It was on time this year .. perhaps a bit early .. and dictionary again .. :( I thought the words were simpler this time.

Vi .. Naah you weren’t ‘that’ late. *bows*

Aakash .. I end up sighing all the time. You write so beautifully. Those words are yours .. I can sense . .so I won’t ask “who wrote it” again. I wish, I could compose something as beautiful in reply. Perhaps you could tell me some day .. tum kaise likhte ho itni sundar kavita and from where you get those amazing thoughts .. :)

Punds .. Never mind. I hope you’ll be able to understand the ‘tag’ I’ll try to post soon. :)

Thank you everyone for your kind comments.

AakASH!!! July 18, 2007 at 4:28 AM  

Inspiration is the only cause, words are mere effects.

aria July 18, 2007 at 4:59 AM  

Hmm.. I need/want that kind of inspiration too .. honestly..

AakASH!!! July 18, 2007 at 11:10 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
AakASH!!! July 18, 2007 at 11:11 PM  

Try reading your own words, or
look into your own self.
I borrowed some from you, you see
I'm a borrower myself.

asuph July 19, 2007 at 12:01 AM  

akaash,

interest rates are quite high these days. bad time for borrowing.

cheers,
asuph

AakASH!!! July 19, 2007 at 4:19 AM  

Gee, thats why i am not borrowing from the market.

And then the cost of capital is minuscule when compared to the Returns on the DCF of the venture.

But thanks for the advice asuph, what stocks are you playing on? =)

Merryweather July 19, 2007 at 10:50 AM  

It's pouring... it's pouring alright! :)
... I like anything that has to do with love!

----------------------- July 21, 2007 at 2:04 AM  

you have what not many do. you are doing with it what many are.

Alok July 30, 2007 at 5:03 PM  

Its pouring alright and its pouring beautifully .... I knw i m late in commenting but till

"In the persistent murmur
of water, however
I only heard
your fine concluding high note
that had been sent afloat
to fade.

Aria this has a touch of a superflous meclancholy that's hard to beat .... i m filled with ecstasy though

and the end ..... brilliant :))


alok

aria July 31, 2007 at 1:18 AM  

Alok.. Receiving comments is always a pleasure. :D Hence .. it never is late. Besides.. its one my efforts which I personally rank above my most other scribblings.. Thank you :)

Thanks Merryweather & .... :)

Alok July 31, 2007 at 5:01 AM  

u wld have becoz it's so brilliant ... read it gain and there was no difference in the feelings ..

Alok July 31, 2007 at 5:03 AM  

ohh these typos ... first i wrote (s)till and now a(gain) ....

anyways

alok

aria July 31, 2007 at 8:05 AM  

Thanks again, Alok. That felt really good & don't mind typos .. :D

Alok August 18, 2007 at 3:17 AM  

I keep coming back to "Waterspout" -

I love the carefree abandon of the strokes ...

alok

aria August 19, 2007 at 2:39 AM  

Thanks Alok for giving my old posts your time & your wonderful comments. I haven't responded to them all but have read each one of them more than once :)
Means much, honestly.

vi February 4, 2008 at 6:36 PM  

Where are you hon?
been Checkeing your blog regularly but no updates :(
Its been a while you wrote one of your funny, witty, deep "stories"...really miss them...can i request one?

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